Salmon

This is the second instalment in our series from the book, Parenting a Child's Perspective, written by Dr Jaslin Salmon. Rather than presenting it chapter by chapter, we give you in the following themes: childhood, parents, illness and death, siblings,...

I think a lot about Superman, the X-Men, and the Incredible Hulk. Are they real? And how did they get to be like that? Boy, I wish I could do the things they do; I would play some really neat tricks on my sister and parents.

Sometimes, I wish I had a supermarket, so I can get all the things I like to eat. And a toy shop, so I can get every game and toy.

When my parents leave home, I cry for them. Sometimes they get angry. Other times, they promise to bring me goodies if I stop crying. But other times, they try to leave without me knowing. I don't think they understand that I'm afraid when they're gone. When they're around, they can save me from anything.

Scared

Without them, I'm scared. And worried that they won't come back. What if their car crashed like a TV car?

Maybe if I knew where my parents were going, I'd feel better. But they don't think I need to know. Parents need to know where children go, though - and we don't even drive yet. I wish my mom and dad would tell me where they're going.

Both of my parents work. Mom is a nurse and Dad is a salesman. I know what Mom's job is like because I've seen nurses. But I don't know what Daddy does. He never told me. I used to think a salesman sold men.

"Boy," I said. "The way men are big and tall, they must cost a lot." My sister laughed, so I knew I was wrong. So what's a salesman? I'd like to know where Daddy goes and what he does.

Sometimes, I think about little things like ants, flies and bugs. Although they are small, I'm scared of them. I don't understand why they have to come to my house. Those insects move so strangely and fast and they don't seem to have eyes or feet. If they weren't so strange, I wouldn't be so scared. But I don't know what they want or what they plan to do to me. Even when I'm in bed, I worry. Is an ant crawling under my feet? I call my parents sometimes at night to tell them I'm scared. I never tell them it's an insect I'm afraid of. I just call my parents and hope they won't mind.

I think about many other things. If I was ever a baby, how did I grow big? How do people think? These are just a few of the things I think about. My life is busy like yours.

My parents are 33 years old. They don't like it when I tell their age to their friends. That's hard for me to understand since they tell my age every chance they get.

I have two grandmothers and two grand-fathers. They like to hug and kiss me. Sometimes, I don't want them to, and then they think I'm rude. This is also hard for me to understand. Grown-ups tell me not to bother them - and they don't think of themselves as rude. And they never let themselves get kissed unless they feel like it.

Likes and dislikes

I have likes and dislikes. I like snow. It's good for building and for playing in. I have snowball fights with my sister and our friends. When it snows I get carried by my mom and dad - and I love to be carried. I like picnics and going to the park. I like visitors because when they come our parents don't fuss with us so much, and because we get to stay up later. And I like when my parents get on the floor and play with us. My mother and father can be such fierce lions. I only wish they'd be wild animals more often.

I don't like the way I'm treated by grown-ups. I don't like cats; I hate spinach; and I don't like nights because I have to go to bed while my parents stay up having fun; and I especially don't like that adults talk so much - gosh! Sometimes, I can hardly get to say a word. And I don't like that my sister plays with my toys but won't let me play with hers without asking. But even she can't play with Teddy. He's the bear that sleeps with me every night, and I like him the best of all my toys. I think he's wishing for me right now underneath the covers.

Now that you know who I am, I hope we can be friends. I never treat people nice just because they're grown; I treat people nicely who treat me nicely. Please be nice to me. I am a child; and I'm a person like you; I want to be treated nicely.

Dr Jaslin Salmon is a professor of sociology and is also trained in counselling and psychotherapy. He is currently president/CEO of the International Institute for Social, Political and Economic Change (IISPEC) in Kingston Jamaica (www.iispec.org). The book can be purchased at Sangster's Book Stores, Kingston Bookshop, amazon.com and Trafford.com/07-1449.

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