Q I am a 20-year-old woman in a young relationship. I have not started having sex with him yet. He calls me his 'wife'.

Now I have discovered that he has another girlfriend and regularly has sex with her. In fact, she has two children with him.

I can't force him to stop having sex with this other woman. I am looking for a lifetime relationship. Should I let him have sex with me?

A Definitely NOT. He is having intercourse with one woman and he might even be having sex with others! This means that if you go to bed with him, there must be a chance that he will give you a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Also, he is clearly a fertile guy, so if you let him penetrate you, you might well end up with a baby.

Giving in to him is no way to start a 'lifetime relationship'. Why not stop this relationship right now and set about finding yourself a good and faithful boyfriend?

QDoc, I am a 17-year-old girl and I don't know much about boys. Last weekend, I went to a party in Portland, and some guys gave me too much to drink.

At the end of the evening, I agreed to give a real handsome guy what he termed a 'handjob'. I was really startled by what happened, because I had never seen anything like this before.

This boy splashed over my hands.

This has really worried me. Could that give me a sexually transmitted infection?

AI would urge you to be more careful when you go to parties in future. In particular, you would be wise NOT to drink alcohol.

You see, many young men will do almost anything to persuade a pretty girl into giving them sexual favours. A lot of guys are well aware that if they offer a young woman a lot to drink, that will reduce her resistance, and make her more likely to agree to some form of sex. This is what happened to you.

It is extremely rare for a person to contract a sexual infection by exposure of the hands to seminal fluid.

I have heard of one or two cases in which a person contracted syphilis via the fingers, but that was only because the germs entered through a large cut in the skin. Really, the chances that you have caught anything are pretty remote so don't fret about your health.

Q I am a 21-year-old guy and I would like to know whether I could have done myself any harm last week when I had sex with a girl.

To my alarm, immediately afterwards, I discovered that she had her menses. I cleaned myself up quickly. But could this sexual encounter have been bad for my health, Doc?

ANo. People often have sex during menstruation. Frequently, this happens by accident, as in your case, because they do not realise that the woman is having her period.

There is no way in which this exposure to menstrual blood can harm you.

QMy girlfriend recently went on the Pill without telling me. Now I have found out and I am a little upset.

Is there any way in which the hormones in this product could have 'leaked' from her to me, thus making me feminised?

A No, this does not happen. In the early days of the Pill, 40 years ago, there was a lot of worry that men could be adversely affected by it. But it turned out that the hormones in the Pill do NOT affect the guy.

Q Can foreplay cause one to lose weight?

ANo. Although a small amount of calories are 'burned up' during energetic foreplay, it is certainly not enough to help you lose a significant amount of weight.

Q I have fallen in love with a girl. She says she has herpes.

Since finding out, I've done a lot of reading about herpes, but I can't find the answer to this question: will we be able to have children?

AWell, the first thing to say is that if you have sex with her, there has to be a considerable chance that you too will get herpes. However, you may be lucky and manage to avoid the infection by using condoms and by avoiding times when she has an attack of the virus.

Herpes does NOT usually cause sterility, so there is a good prospect that this woman will be able to have children. However, the obstetricians will want to take great care to ensure that the baby is not infected.

In the past, it was often said that all women who have herpes would have to give birth by Caesarean section. However, these days a lot of females with a history of herpes give birth naturally.

I suggest that you both see a gynaecologist. The doctor will be able to give the two of you personalised advice about your future. I wish you well.

QI am an 18-year-old female. Recently, I noticed a bumpy rash on the inner lips of my vagina. My boyfriend has no rash.

I went to a doctor, and he told me that the bumps are due to 'rough sex' and would take years to go away. Is this possible?

AI must say that in all my career I have never seen a female patient who had vaginal bumps caused from 'rough sex'.

I don't know what is wrong with you, but I think that maybe it is time you got a 'second opinion'.

Q I am a 19-year-old woman and sometimes I get 'bad feeling' about wanting to kill a young female relative. Do you think I am sick?

AIt certainly sounds like it. I urge you to see a doc on Monday and ask to be sent to a psychiatrist. Meantime, please stay away from this female relative!

Want advice from the doctor? Email questions and comments to saturdaylife@gleanerjm.com or post to Doctor's Advice, The Gleaner Company, 7 North Street, Kingston.