Sheena Gayle, Gleaner Writer

Left: A 2007 file photo of an emotional Tameka Smith, mourning the murder of Tian Wolfe, at the family's residence in Hampstead, St Thomas, in October of that year. - File Right: Two-year-old Jaheim Graham wipes a tear after a night of horror in which his uncle, Fredrick Ford, was shot then burnt to death by gunmen, earlier this year, at their home in Pleasant Hill, Bogwalk, St Catherine. - Ricardo Makyn/Staff Photographer

Western Bureau:

Crime and violence have left two separate families in Montego Bay facing the harsh reality of having to help their children overcome the tragedy of witnessing the gruesome death of an individual.

Since the start of the year, more than 170 people have died in St James as a result of crime and violence.

Protection needed

One mother, who has requested anonymity to protect herself and her three children, said that since her daughter witnessed a killing one year ago, it has proven to be a difficult task to cushion the emotions of the child who is still traumatised.

"She is still afraid, at times, when she remembers what happened, but I try as best as possible to comfort and encourage her in an effort to put that bad memory behind her," the concerned mother reveals.

Professional counselling

However, this matriarch encou-rages other parents, who have encountered a similar situation, to get professional counselling, talk to their children and help them understand the situation so that they will not fall into the same trap. She said these parents should encourage the children to stay as safe as possible and avoid dangerous situations.

The woman's now 12-year-old daughter said it was the first time she had ever seen anything like that.

"Even now I'm still nervous. But my mother is always talking and encouraging me on how to stay safe," she explained. She added that, while the traumatic experience happened when she was 11, the gruesome scene still lingers in her memory.

Meanwhile, it is through optimism and faith that 34-year-old mother of four, Letiesha Arnold, has chosen to guide her children in the right direction, despite the recent loss of her son to violence.

"Right now, I have to continue to motivate the other kids and trust God that He will help me cope," a saddened Arnold revealed.

However, this is not the first time that she has had to deal with tragedy in her family. Her husband was shot and killed in 2006. She is partially paralysed and unable to work.

Since the death of her son, She argues that, though these tragedies are at times unbearable and stressful, she refuses to give in to the circumstances for the sake of her other children.

"The four other children a my motivation to continue fight this battle and, if a never God, I don't know how I would make it out," she said with tears in her eyes.

sheena.gayle@gleanerjm.com

Advice to parents

POSITIVE Parenting

Letiesha Arnold advises parents who have to deal with a similar tragedy to:

Talk to your children and help them understand the situation.

Not rush children. Even if you are having a bad day, be patient with them.

Make time for them, even if it meanssacrificing the time. This is a difficult period for them to deal with their emotions on their own.

Child and family therapist Dr Beverley Scott advises parents to:

Let the children talk about the incident as often as they want to.

Get the children's feedback and their thoughts about what happened.

Pay attention to the children's eating habits, whether they are overeating or not eating enough since the traumatic experience occurred.

Observe whether the children are talking as often as they usually would. If not, it may be a sign of depression and parents should seek professional help in dealing with this.

Discuss the good memories of the deceased loved one with the children. This will help them to cope.