Patricia Whittle, Contributor

Robert was a student in Miss Stern's class. Miss Stern started each day with a story which the class always looked forward to hearing. As her name suggests, she was also a very stern teacher. On her desk, she kept a thick ruler which she often used to clap students. Good students had nothing to fear from her, but those who misbehaved or failed to do good work would be confronted with constant claps from Miss Stern's thick ruler.

It was Thursday, a very sunny day. Miss Stern told the class a lovely story about a boy whose father gave him a coat of many colours. Robert sat entranced as he listened to the fantastic story. He enjoyed it from beginning to end. He wished his father would give him something nice for his birthday, which was coming up shortly. He was tired of getting gifts of handkerchiefs and caps.

"Now," said Miss Stern, "story time is over. It's time for some serious work. Today, I am going to test you on the words you studied for homework."

She opened her register and as she called each name, the student had to spell a word given by the teacher. Those who were unable to spell the word remained standing.

"Betty Brown, spell milk! Sydney Evans, spell goat! Carol Gordon, spell grass!"

One by one the children stood and spelt a word. Robert hoped that when his time came around he would spell his word correctly. Then, he started daydreaming about the beautiful coat. Maybe he would ask for a beautiful shirt, one with lions on it, or a T-shirt with a picture of Bob Marley, or sweater with ... Robert was so deep in thought, that he did not hear Miss Stern call his name.

"Robert Mason spell cow!" she shouted for the third time. As Robert jumped up, he knocked over his chair and the class laughed.

"What sweet unnu?" Robert asked loudly, ignoring the teacher's command.

Miss Stern was angry that the boy found time to be rude instead of spelling the word given to him.

"Come here this minute, Robert!" she demanded. "Open your hand!"

Robert was afraid of beatings. Each time the ruler descended he pulled back his hand. A few of the blows connected, and unfortunately the ruler caught his index finger and sprained it. After a time it became black and blue, and swollen. Miss Stern was not aware that Robert's finger was injured because the boy did not bring it to her attention. The rest of the day went well, and after they said their evening prayer, she reminded the children to go straight home and not idle on the road.

The following morning, Miss Stern marked the register and noted that Robert was absent. She thought nothing of it. She taught her class as usual and sent the children out for a short morning break. As she sat at her desk, she saw Robert and his father coming towards her classroom. Robert was not in his uniform so she wondered what was wrong.

"Please come in." she said as Mr Mason knocked on the door of the classroom.

"Good morning Mr Mason," she greeted him. "What has Robert done now?"

"Morning Teacher," Mr Mason replied as he pushed Robert forward. "I is here because yuh beat Robert yessiday and sprain him finger."

"But I was not aware that I sprained his finger," she said, surprised. "I am so sorry."

"The boy say that him no do anything and yu beat him." said Mr Mason.

"That's not so," said Miss Stern. "I told Robert to spell a very simple word, cow. Instead of spelling the word he found time to ... "

Mr Mason did not wait for her to finish. "Good God Teacher!" he declared. "How yu expect Robert to spell a big animal like cow? Why yu didn't give him something small like mosquito to spell instead?"

"But Mr Mason," said Miss Stern. "The size of the animal has nothing to do with the spelling of the word. It is all a matter of phonics."

Mr Mason was not listening. "I don't spoil the rod when pickney thief and lie or fight!" he told her. "But yu can't give the child this big everlasting animal to spell, and then beat him on top of that!" With that, he took Robert's hand and stomped through the door.

Miss Stern waited until they were out of earshot before erupting in explosive laughter.