D-Empress, Contributor

D-Empress

When President-elect, Barack Obama stood victorious delivering his acceptance speech, he thanked his entourage and the most important people in his life for their support. His face glowed as he spoke of his wife, of 16 years, as his best friend and partner.

Now, best friends come and go, and with statistics in South Africa revealing that one in two marriages ends in divorce, it seems marriages are becoming disposable baggage too. It begs the question; what is it that keeps the fire burning?

Sisters around the globe complain at the seemingly impossible task of finding the perfect man! We become more bewildered as we stumble from one failed relationship to another. Have we lost sight of what it is we're looking for in Mr Right? Who sold us the mirage of the perfect other? Did you buy into the dream?

No Mr Right

We've seen and heard it all too many times before. The packaging looks good, but, before you know it, life on the inside is not feeling so sweet. From emotional ice blocks to serial philanderers, the stories are woeful. They leave us with a gaping hole of hurt that festers if left unattended.

It would seem many have chosen to accept that there is no such thing as Mr Right. Get real they say, man is man, they're all the same! In allowing such possibilities to be reality, we self-sabotage our own desires. Disillusioned, we opt, for stagnant, unfulfilling unions.

We've lost sight of what we're looking for because we're looking in the wrong place. Furthermore, wounded and defensive, we often place responsibility for our happiness in the hands of our unsuspecting and, yes, sometimes ill-equipped mates.

So, is there hope for those who are not prepared to wallow in relationship mediocrity? Most definitely! Our creator fashioned us for a mate and so, in optimistic spirit, we relentlessly seek that perfect relationship. It is possible!

Seems to me, it's high time we evolve our skills set, reset our perfection perspectives and re-orient ourselves to an internal focus. It really is all about us!

In terms of our partners, we struggle to sift through conflicting images of who and what we are meant to be as modern women. So, when our relationships unravel, in desperation, we misdirect our energy by focussing on the 'coulda, woulda, shoulda' drama. With emotions blurring our vision, it's difficult to introspect, but that is exactly what's called for on a regular basis, whether it's sunshine or rain.

The answer to our search for perfection in others lies within us, not in our loved ones. Can you truly say you invest as much time and energy in giving to yourself as you do for others around you? Part of your evolved skills cachet includes the ability to create 'love me' time and space in your life without apology, knowing that it is in loving you that you perfect the art of loving others.

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