Kelly

First off, congratulations to you Mr Obama. You ran a good, clean campaign and you've been rewarded.

I have some tips for you, president-elect, but first I have to get some things out the way for those expecting you to be the world's saviour.

First off, to all the Jamaicans who think that green cards and visas are going to be given away like food aid in Sudan, figet it! So don't go up to the people's embassy and bad up di security guard 'bout is black man time now! Oh, by the way, you realise that for the next few years, every male child of African descent will either be named Barack or will have a name close to it? Some start a ready!

Racial discrimination

And, nuff a dem guys who always talking bout racial discrimination are going to have to find some other material to get laughs. By the way, you realise the Russian and Afghan leaders didn't waste any time demanding that Obama change the United States' policies towards their countries? Lawd man, him not even get di post officially yet! Wait nuh!

But, back to you Mr Pres-to-be. There are a few things you're going to have to do if you're going to have a successful first term, so pull up a chair. By the way, this isn't all policy related (politically correct).

First things first, carry out the promise to change the bowling alley into a basketball court. To take it to another level, if you're having trouble with foreign policy, carry the foreign minister and/or other delegates and shoot some hoops. Also, football (soccer if you prefer) is a more global sport, so bone up on your football skills and you'll negotiate better with countries where it's the national sport.

Claim to fame

Two, all those poor cousins (real or imagined) who are now bound to come looking for 'a little smalls', run dem! If the only claim to fame they have is that they are the stepsons of your great-grandaunt, run them!

Third, at some point, you have to visit Jamaica. The number of people who behaved as if you all were friends from long time, acted as if they had a vote that counted, and those who didn't stop praying for you to win deserve to see you here. It would be the biggest celebration for a non-Jamaican visitor since Mandela or the Pope.

The fourth and definitely the most important, paint the White House black! I don't mean literally. I mean make it more reflective of a proud black family living there. You can call the Flair ; we'll give you some tips.

That's it, see you around and good luck. You'll need it!

Drop a line to the president-elect at: daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.