Yvonnie Bailey- Davidson

Dear Counsellor:

My teenage daughter is very fearful about the recent spate of kidnappings, rapes and robberies. She is unable to sleep and doesn't want to leave the house. How can I help her?

- Erica

Dear Erica:

It is very frightening to hear about various criminal activities. Children and adolescents are terrified and are not coping well. These children are unable to sleep and do their schoolwork. Please talk with your daughter about her feelings and response to what is going on.

Children who are directly affected by traumatic incidents develop post-traumatic stress disorder, or suffer from depression or panic attacks. Small children and adolescents are traumatised even if they are not directly involved in the incidents. The level of violence in the society is causing an increase in mental health problems.

Safety concerns are top of the agenda. Teach your daughter safety measures to reduce the possibility of her being directly affected. She needs to walk in groups, not speak to strangers and not to loiter on the streets. She should be home before night and you should know her whereabouts at all time. Get her a cellular phone so you can keep track of her. She should practise reaching home early after school has ended. Too many children are on the street hours after classes have been dismissed.

She should not get into a vehicle with only the driver as an occupant.

'Black-heart man'

These days remind me of the time when there was talk about the 'black-heart man'. If possible, arrange for your daughter to be dropped off at school and picked up in the afternoon. Carpooling with other parents is a good idea.

If your daughter takes the bus or taxi, she needs to be home early in the afternoon. As the saying goes, "night has no ruler". We have to be concerned about safety both day and night.

Your daughter may need counselling to help her deal with her fears. Many adolescents have been crippled psychologically because of crime. Pray long and hard for your daughter and others.

Life changes

Dear Counsellor:

I am a middle-age woman who is thinking of a career change. I'm concerned about the job market.

- Pauline

Dear Pauline:

Many middle-age persons are wondering if they should make changes to their lives. Middle age can be a time of disorganisation as people try to make changes in their lives. Sometimes, a career change will bring new meaning to life. The children are usually independent and so parents have more time on their hands to get into other activities.

You need to look at your options and choose wisely. Many skills are transferable and one can work at certain jobs part-time. Some people find that joining a service club or volunteering in their communities help to give them a sense of direction and a purpose in life.

Middle-age folks have the golden opportunity to interact with youths and the elderly. Keeping yourself current and involved with other people is very good for your mental health. One is as old as one feels and keeping up with the youth is good rejuvenation tonic. At this stage of life, it is good to mentor the younger generation and share your knowledge and skills.

Seeking advice on matters affecting you and your family? Call Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson at 978-8602 or email yvonniebd@hotmail.com.