So I think you all knew that there was no way our good friend George W. Bush was going to get away from me with the boot incident.

For the uninitiated, during a recent press conference in Iraq, the soon-to-be former president had to dodge a flying size 10 shoe hurled by an irate reporter. And you thought Jamaican journalists were tough? At least we only ask probing questions. Michael Pryce had to defend himself once but that was about as far as we go regarding physical confrontations.

Good reflexes

I'm not sure if Bush had any lessons in dandy shandy when he was a child but his reflexes were actually quite good. He loves to hunt, I believe, so you need quick reflexes to catch those deer and other four-legged beauties that come across your scope. The second shoe may have hit him if the thrower had composed himself a little better. Of course since human beings usually only have two feet, he only had two shoes. A little more ammo and he probably would have nailed W right in the forehead. But he was tackled by security personnel after that, so there was no further salvo.

While some people are amazed at the audacity of the attempt, what gets me is that Bush was actually quite calm about the whole thing afterward. I think he could afford a smile because (a) he'll soon hand over to Barack Obama so he's just cruising 'til then; (b) he's happy the guy was throwing shoes, not knives (or worse, firing bullets) and (c) he may have thought it best not to rile the public for fear of future incidents. Let's face it, this guy was a journalist; can you imagine what the police would do?

The downside with this event is that you just might hear a State Department edict go out banning shoes at press conferences. That may not be a bad thing anyway, considering that some of those heels can really cause some damage. Furthermore, it would make for a more cosy place, provided there are no cheesy feet or socks!

Dandy shandy lessons

We would hope that President-elect Obama is as agile as his (almost) predecessor. If not, he can ask us; Jamaicans are experts at dodging. From artistes on stage dodging beer bottles to politicians hurling pens at each other in parliament, we know how to evade objects. Hey, maybe Bush has some Jamaican in him!

So with the world potentially getting more upset (financial crunch, environmental considerations etc.), we could have more world leaders having the book, I mean boot, thrown at them! Hey, Jamaicans could offer dandy shandy lessons to foreigners. We need the money.

Play dandy with me at daviot.kelly@gleanerjm.com.