Dear Counsellor:

I am thinking of starting a family. I have been married for three years and we think it is time to have children. I am happy about this but I am also scared. Could you give me some parenting tips?

- Stacy

Dear Stacy:

Having children is a good idea. Children are loveable and challenging.

Children are born with their own temperament, personality and behaviour. As parents, we need to improve on their talents and bring out the best in them. As parents, we have to guide and enhance their development. Human beings have a life cycle and we as parents are given the golden opportunity to do the best we can for our children.

Many parents can only afford to give their children a good education. Some parents have money and assets that they can bestow on their children and grandchildren.

Read up about the human life cycle so that you can better able to understand yourself and your children. We are all growing older and see issues through different eyes.

Children need a lot of attention, guidance, supervision, direction, nurturance, love and caregiving. You will need to schedule time for children, husband, yourself, family of origin, friends and work. If you have friends or family with young children, you can share ideas and activities with them.

Children need rules to live by. They need structure, routines, family rituals, pleasant experiences and happy memories. It is nice to take photographs for viewing in later years. Pleasant memories are essential and should help lift your spirits when life gets rough.

As your children grow, they need to develop decision-making, problem-solving and risk-assessment skills. Teach children concepts which are age appropriate. Some things will have to be taught daily, so you will need tolerance and patience. Let the children know their extended family members and be involved in their religious faith.

For advice from Dr Yvonnie Bailey-Davidson, email questions to yvonniebd@hotmail.com or call 978-8602.