The Editor, Sir:

The Gleaner began its publications for 2009 in fine fettle.As has become the tradition over the past few years, the newspaper starts the new year on a good foot by publishing an exhaustive list of 'prophetic' utterances pronounced as the 'Word of the Lord'.

To keep its readers in suspense, the newspaper publishes the list in instalments.

What is baffling is that the newspaper has conferred adjunct Bible status upon itself by claiming that the list of inanities it persists in publishing each New Year's Day is the 'Word of God'.

The band of 'prophets' who furnish the newspaper with their nonsense are never challenged on the accuracy of their mutterings.

As I recall, the most famous prophet of them all, one Phillip Phinn, hung up his mantle after his famous Portia and Hillary prophecies fizzled out like damp fireworks on New Year's Eve, and sought solace in managing other people's money in a foreign exchange fund called Faith. Well, we know how those fortunes went, and will wait to witness the promise of payouts in the months ahead.

Vague predictions

The list of predictions is laughably much more vague than your average daily horoscope and its tepid non-committal statements lend it an air of mystery (or is it doubt?). The prophets and prophetesses feel constrained to leave a charming disclaimer to protect God from disrepute and themselves from public ridicule, just in case His words do not come to pass.

One thing they have never omitted over the years is their dire warning to the nation's leaders, businessmen and congregations far and wide, to tithe. God wants that 10 per cent!

And here is where it always gets ridiculous: the size of the seed you sow can be affixed to the numbers of Psalm or Jewish year! The 'word' claims that "God wants to give His people revelation in order to get wealth."

Pity God did not give His people any revelation on the collapse of Cash Plus and Olint, but these prophets are banking on the short memories of their readers.

Deluded believers

They are still mercilessly coming after your money, American or Jamaican dollars, even in this time of hardship for so many. "Sow a seed (US$ or J$) of $57.69 according to this Jewish year 5769. Sow a seed (US$ or J$) of $107 extra monthly, according to Psalm 107. Sow this for your harvest - five major blessings await you. Sow also (US$ or J$) a seed of $8,717 or $717 for your breakthrough!"

Add to that the 'eye of newt, and toe of frog' to season and complete this cauldron of absurdity. The saddest part is that there are those who hang on every word of these deluded souls as gospel, and will move heaven and earth to find the appropriate US dollars to pay for their breakthrough. And they never learn.

Why The Gleaner persists in categorising this tawdry report as real news is beyond me. It provides comic relief and belongs right there in the entertainment section.

For reasoned predictions concerning economic and geopolitical issues, I'd rather hedge my bets with the usual pundits, thank you!

I am, etc.,

KADENE PORTER

kadene26@hotmail.com