He has gone to the extreme of telling me to sell "you know what" if I need money. I would like to know what necessary action can be taken against him. I do not have an address for him. However, he is on the social network hi5.

What can I do? As far as I heard, he is now in the drugs trade. How do I get help?

A: This is a difficult situation with apparently no quick resolution. It is pathetic that your husband has deserted you and your children and is failing in his financial responsibilities. It is a paradox that men in the army are expected to be gentlemen. Yet your husband is behaving like a brute. He is suppose to be willing to give up his life for the benefit of his country and fellow country people but he is not willing to live up to his responsibility. Perhaps he is just a mercenary. I think his new partner will soon discover who she is dealing with. He is really a despicable human being to suggest to you, his wife, to become a prostitute to care for his children. He is a vile person to want the proceeds from prostitution to support the seeds from his loins.

So, what can you do? You could take him to the family court and. if successful, you could try and get a summons served on him. It is obvious you need a lawyer. If you cannot afford to hire a lawyer then try legal aid. A lawyer could tell you your rights and what is possible under the family court statutes.

Contact British High Commission

You could also contact the British High Commission in Jamaica and tell them of the predicament and get advice as to your rights in dealing with someone in the British army. Naturally, our Foreign Affairs ministry could give you valuable advice about how to proceed against your husband, who is in another jurisdiction, and how it could help. In addition, do a Google search about your rights if he is in the British army!

It is not clear if your husband is in the British army or went to Britain with the intention to join the army but, perhaps, did not enlist. If he is in the army, usually a superior officer in the British army can get a junior to fulfil his or her family obligations. The challenge is to contact that senior officer when you do not even have an address for your partner.

Even if you are successful in the family court, and the British army and foreign missions could help, you have intelligence that he is involved in the drugs trade. If he is, you might be getting proceeds from an illegal activity. You have to mention this as you are uncomfortable and know the dangers and uncertainty involved in benefiting from the drugs trade.

It is evident that you will have to be a single mother and provide the necessary moral nurture for the children. For a while, you might have to depend on the support of family members because your husband's source of funds is tainted and unsure, since he could face imprison anytime.

It is advisable that you seek to become financially strong for yourself and your children. You did not mention the age of the children but you need to inform them about the challenges of life and dereliction of duty when they are of the age to understand. They must be told about the actions of your husband and what your reactions were. They should be prepared for a future without their father being there.

Contact the counsellor at editor@gleanerjm.com